WHAT MADE MEN FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
VIRGINIA BERNAHARD, 28, BOSTON
I had always been in successful relationship with men. Men had been admiring even the land I walk on. They were always around me and ready for my cooperation.
On the other hand, many of my female counterparts have suffered greatly in their live by men. Many have been abandoned and insulted. They had not been treated with respect and, as a result, they suffered emotionally and psychologically. Of course, they should be. They are human being.
They had been surprising on why my own case is different. They thought I had a special harm that made everyone to fall in love with me. I had no special charm. The truth is that I have different approach to men. I know how to set limit for men in my life. That was, probably, the secret.
Setting boundary was something I learnt and always demonstrate it towards men. I don’t easily submit myself to their dictates, though I always respect their feelings. I always make them to understand that, at least, I have life, beliefs and right just like them. I don’t depend on men. Yes, I don’t. I take responsibility of my life and my choices. I never allow them to feel superior over my life. I never allow them to feel that my life is better because they entered it. I always remind them that my life is complete and will continue to be regardless of who is next to me.
For me, my girl friends do a lot to win relationship; they were constantly trying to please their men. They want men to be true to them. They wanted relationship so much that they forget about themselves. That may be the problem.
When we don’t set boundaries, even for our spouse, we may be encountering some behavior which leads to hostile feelings and vengeance on both sides. This, undoubtedly, makes relationship unhealthy. This principle of relationship, I believe is what made me a magnet to men. They were surprise that despite my love and attraction to them, I acted independently.
I think, you can love and do a lot for your spouse but that doesn’t mean that you are mandated to give up your worth and your respect.
If you really care about yourself, it is important that you take your time to do the thing you love, nurture yourself, meet friends who are just yours, develop career and everything you need to be. Love and allow you to be loved. Don’t kill your integrity at the altar of relationship.