SELF-CLEANSING

Julia Kimi, 23. Trino.

I am one of the persons who was broken by relationships. I once had friends that would go out with me; we would play together, gist, and even read together as a team. It was all fine until I found myself in this relationship where my guy wanted me to all his alone and no one else.

My man was really possessive, but he was caring. To keep the relationship, I had to break off with most of my friends. That didn’t turn out well as my social life was mostly starved and I had to only find happiness in my man, which was not so bad.

However,

things got nasty and the guy and I had to break off just some weeks before our wedding. I felt hurt and humiliated. I was very angry and swore to myself that I was not going to forgive him.  

I maintained that for a very long time. I was not going to love again, too. I locked myself from new relationships. I couldn’t call my friends back because I felt I betrayed them. I was hurt and angered.

Later, I had a neighbor who was very kind to me. He noticed the way I kept to myself. Despite that, he kept doing his acts of kindness, such as dropping the newspaper at my door. Sometimes, he would offer unsolicited help to move in heavy things. One windy day, while returning home it started to rain, my neighbor Noticed me and stopped his car for me to come in. I reluctantly entered and that not long,. This guy and I got talking and he made me realize the need to let the pain go. He shared his own story with me, which touched me emotionally. I have lost a lot while housing hurt. I didn’t see happiness in anything and often, I wallow in self-pity while telling myself that “I am being strong and independent”. The conversation lasted about 2 hours, where we were stuck in the car from a heavy storm. The encounter changed my life and I let the pain go with a cry. I forgave myself and learned to appreciate helps rather than being harsh. I sought healing in myself. I treated myself fairer, I changed my playlist to a positive set to help me stir positive energy. In fact, my neighbor suggested sports. Today, I am married to my (ex) neighbor and I have finally buried the hurt of the past.

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2 Comments

  1. If it were me I would do the same, there is no need holding onto hurt and staying unhappy. It is not easy to let go but when you eventually do you will realize how happier you will be.

  2. What I like the most in this story is the happily ever after. Exactly why I tell people to move on when they come out from a toxic relationship.


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